


In Bloom

by Lovely_Lights



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: I'm just trying to fix Simon's mess, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-01 17:55:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6530101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovely_Lights/pseuds/Lovely_Lights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmate au where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soul mates skin as well. </p><p>Raphael had given up on soulmates. Simon has been waiting twelve years for a response.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Raphael was raised a good Catholic. He tried to never pray selfishly. May La Virgen keep a smile on his mothers face. Que Señora Rodriguez este en la gloria de Dios. May San Miguel walk alongside his friends as they prepared to step foot into battle.  
  
When he was selfish, when his sins gave in he hoped that maybe he would meet the person meant for him. And so he had drawn on his skin since the moment he could write in the hope that there would be a response. He wrote poems in his mother tongue, rolling and warm words that felt like the sun on his skin and he hoped they shone for his alma gemela. Compared the similarities of Harlem and Zacatecas. He wrote for that one person who had been made for him, Dios, how nothing had seemed more beautiful when he was alive.  
  
But Raphael had long since given up on the idea of soulmates, they were for Mundanes. For the children that had not forsaken God. Magnus laughs at him called him bitter and reminds him of how those of the Downworld have gone centuries before something was drawn onto their skin like a blessing. But in life Raphael had been practical, sure of himself in a way that even grown men could only hope to possess. Immortality suited him and with it the isolation that came with living for all eternity.  
  


 

It's 2001 when words first align his skin, ‘Hope you're safe.’ they say in a hand that is still not sure of itself, shaky, a child. And Raphael balks at that, unmoving and watching as blood drips down his arm, the words carving into his skin.  
  
"Huh. The blood must be a side effect of you being a Vampire." Magnus says.  
  
Raphael ignores Magnus and perches on the edge of the sofa, sucks in a breath and can't even chastise himself for such a mundane gesture. And stares.  
  
He stares all night. Stares until the morning comes and watches the words fade from his skin. Raphael is not a man ruled by his emotions. He has not felt sorry for himself in years. Has not wished for mortality since the death of his mother, but, as he watches the words leave his skin fading with each moment that the sun rises he yearns.  
  
It's as if the scribbles never stop coming after that. And Raphael takes them in greedily looks up everything that has to do with them. First it's little doodles of the Star of David, a poorly drawn Pikachu that he had to ask Gabriel their youngest vampire to identify for him, and movies, so many movies. As he ages it's homework assignments and music notes that Raphael sings along to, pumping through him like a phantom heartbeat. The shaky handwriting has settled into a slightly slanted scrawl, with sharp windings loops on the y's and g's and tight mountains for m's and n's, it's a mess so different from his own elegant penmanship. He loves it all the more.

 

Eleven years later is how long it takes for his soulmate to attempt to speak to him again. Raphael wakes up to the shrill scream of Lily as she bursts into his room her wide hysterical eyes the only thing he can make out from the haziness of sleep. And that's when he sees it marigolds blossoming across his forearm, sunflowers dancing across his wrist, his blood spilling into roses like a declaration. And etched in that so familiar mess of words a small message:

"My friend is going through a phase where she may or may not want to be a tattoo artist, I of course somehow became the human lab rat. I hope you enjoy the flowers!!!"

He bites his lip, stunned. If lily teases him for the next week on for the smile he tucks away he simply ignores her. He’s getting good at ignoring meddling Downworlders.  
  
The flowers make an appearance seven more times in the following month, Irises for hope, daisies for innocence, and Raphael almost writes back when forget me nots align his ribs like kisses. But that same night him and several others are trapped in the workings of a memory demon. Raphael relieves his darkness over and over again watches as his body writhes and rises. Watches as he kills everyone he had called friend. Blood dripping down his mouth as he digs his nails into Mateos side. Mateos screams are deafening as he tries to shout for Rafael, his hermano. He remembers that this monster will always be him.  
  
"You were trapped for an hour." Magnus later tells him and Raphael simply nods ushering a quick thank you as he rises from the Warlock’s couch. It had felt like centuries.  
  
Raphael scrubs at the forget me nots, until his skin breaks but no amount of scrubbing will rid him of them. But they fade on their own just as the sun rises and Raphael thinks himself Hades forever cloaked into darkness taking what he wants. Flowers don't bloom in darkness and Persephone this time will deserve better than a selfish God. 

 

  
The similarities between him and Camille are few but their views on love are similar. She scoffs at the mention of soulmates, says that love is a frivolous thing and for people such as them it will only make them weak. Its for Mundanes who are over emotional and making a show of themselves at all times and Raphael can’t help but agree. From the dawn of time there’s stories of men and women creating wars, destroying others for the words written on someone’s skin. It's for love sick idiotas.  
  
Camille is as powerful as she is cynical and for all she calls humans weak for their need to make spectacles of themselves its her greed and power that ends her. The clan is filled with unrest since it’s began those loyal to their family and not Camille herself are rattling inside. Lily purses her lips during meetings and he sees the start of defiance in her eyes. A week later two Mundanes are found left to bleed dry and Raphael see’s the twin blooms of names on their skin. There is no trace of what Vampire it was, nothing that the Clave can pin on their clan but the truth is something they all know. The unrest grows.  
  
It’s not till a year later when she becomes sloppy in her assurance. Drunk on power that she believes can never be taken from her she changes a Mundane right before the eyes of the clan. He takes the body gently into his arms and the boy’s the same as a broken doll, stuck in purgatory, waiting for his fate. Anger coils in his belly, sharp and hot as he looks at the face of the boy, he dismisses it as anger for Camille risking the clans safety, taking them to the brink of war. Raphael already knows what he’s going to do. Has known it since the moment he rushed into the room only to see that it was too late, Camille already feeding. He will allow the Mundanes loved ones the choice that was taken from him.  
  
As he watches the Fairchild girl cry over the body, her small frame shaking from sobs he thinks about what he would have done. He remembers the last sunset he had seen, how his skin would turn golden in the summer. How his mom had dropped kisses like prayers to his curls, ‘Raphael, mi primer niño, mi luz’. His choice and the girls is not the same. But he also remembers how the Mundane had thrown a knife at him, how it had landed just right above his heart, he’d make a good vampire. 

 

  
Raphael regrets every thought he had about the Mundane possibly making a good vampire. He is actually going to kill the fledgling himself. He doesn’t stop talking. Ever. Raphael is not endeared. At all. But it seems as he physically can’t stop himself from talking. And when he asks if they can turn into bats, Raphael has to physically restrain himself from lunging at him. But he’s good for them, it’s been 16 years since they had accepted a new member into the clan. And for all that Simon is infuriating his humanity is endearing and refreshing. Such as his outrage at not being able to eat pizza and his delight at still being able to get drunk. Teenage fledglings are strange things. And then there’s the wide eyes and blinding grins he so freely hands out.  
  
Raphael steps into the lobby early one evening to find Stan and Eliot doubled over in laughter. Elliot is laughing so much that there are actual tears running down his face leaving blood stains in their wake. Simon is in the middle of them, his laptop in front of him and smiling proudly.  
  
“So this can be applied to anything?” Elliot asks.  
  
Simon nods quickly.  
  
“Yeah, look.”  
  
He clears his throat before squaring his expression and turning to face Raphael whose leaning against a pilar.  
  
“Daaamnn Raphael.” He says and Raphael raises an eye brow.  
  
“Damnnnnnnnnnnn Raphael back at it again with the fancy jackets.” His grin spreads so quickly over his face and it’s so earnest and excited that his fangs pop out. Elliot lets out a howl of laughter while Stan bites his lips helplessly his snickers still slipping out.  
  
“I really don’t want to know. ” Raphael says with a roll of his eyes. He turns around and walks out laughter following him. He may be slightly endeared.


	2. Chapter 2

There's a knock at the door and Raphael may or may not be considering dropping holy water onto whoever has disturbed him. He pillows his head deeper into the covers and prays to be left alone.  
  
Simon peeks his head in, eyes wide and hesitant. Raphael gives an internal sigh before he raises himself up and settles against the headboard.  
  
"Hey, umm, sorry. I thought you would be awake," Simon mutters as he stumbles into the room. "I mean you strike me as the type that's up the moment the sun sets you know making sure we're doing all our Vampire stuff and yea, uhh, I should have waited." His hand rises to his face pushing against his nose where his glasses used to be as he nearly trips over his feet. Raphael finally lets out a sigh. Simon is a damn actual baby fawn.  
  
"What is it Simon?" He crosses his arms across his chest.  
  
Simon gulps and thinks to himself that he really should have knocked like its something he should start making a habit. It's too early for all of this. And by all of this he means the fact that Raphael looks so soft and human at this moment. His hair is free of all the gel and it frames his face making him look younger. His eyes are still a bit droopy from sleep and the devil may care attitude that Raphael always wears is long gone. Sleepy Raphael may be his favorite Raphael and Simon is so not going to think about what that means.  
  
"Clary invited me to the wedding at the Institution. But aside from skinny jeans and graphic tees I don't have all that many options."  
  
Raphael clicks his tongue in understanding.  
  
"Clarissa is marrying?" He asks.  
  
Simon splutters.  
  
"What? No. No, man," He laughs. "Alec is getting married to another shadowhunter."  
  
Raphael quirks up one eyebrow.  
  
"Pardon, he's what?"  
  
"Yeah, he's getting married to Lydia she's the envoy that the Clave sent."  
  
Raphael hasn't been up for even 10 minuets and he's already hit the maximum amount of idiocy he is capable with dealing with for the day.  
  
He mutters a quick idiota under his breath.   
  
Simon lets out a huff his voice affronted when he speaks.  
  
"I haven't done anything! How did I already get called an idiot?" His hand is raised to his chest and the pure indignation on his face is enough to get a smile out of Raphael, maybe.  
  
"Not you Fledgling, the Lightwood boy. Bane must be up in arms right now." Hey says as Simons eyes turn curious.  
  
"Magnus? You mean . . . " he makes a swishing sound and wiggles his fingers. " warlock Magnus? What do he have to do with anything?"  
  
Raphael clicks his tongue again.  
  
"Yes Magnus bane, him and the Shadowhunter are soulmates." Simon makes a startled noise that Raphael is pretty sure belongs to some species of bird.  
  
"He's what now?!" Simon grabs Raphael hand and give a sharp tug. Raphael pulls his hand back quickly and glares.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"We have to stop this wedding what do you think I'm doing?! Alec is going to ruin both their lives!"  
  
" _We_ don't have to do anything, Simon." Simon is now looking at Raphael as if he's questioning how in the world one person can be so stupid. Raphael is pretty sure that it's the same expression he makes.  
  
"They're soulmates Rafa, they make each other better, they belong together. From what Clary's told me Alec doesn't even like Lydia." He tugs Raphael's hand again.  
  
"Alma gemelas are an idiotic concept Simon, people don't belong to people." He grits out.  
  
Simons worries his lip between his teeth.  
  
"I know that," He mumbles wringing his wrist. "But when you have something as beautiful as a soulmate and you're both good people you should fight for it."  
  
Raphael can't even help it as the question slips past his lips.  
  
"Speaking from experience?" Simon shrugs but it seems more like a gesture of him curling in on himself and Raphael almost regrets asking the question.  
  
"I've written to them since I was little but they never responded. Maybe they don't exist or maybe they just don't want me, but yeah." He gives a little self deprecating chuckle.  
  
Raphael sighs. Simon is still young, and though he is a vampire that's not reason enough for him to allow bitterness to enter him.  
  
"Well, at least you have the rest of eternity to wait for them." Simon gives a tiny smile.  
  
"Did you just try to make a joke?"  
  
"No." Raphael replies with a smirk.   
  
"Fine, because I'm such a good person I'll let it slide. So now about the wedding, let's get me looking less like a mess. Since in your words I can't be trusted." Once again he pulls on Raphael's hand.  
  
"Lewis I would appreciate that the next time you try to get me out of my bed you wait until I'm clothed." Simon drops his hand as though it was sunlight.  
  
"You're . . . "  
  
Raphael grits his teeth.  
  
"Yes." The other boy stills and Raphael knows it's not possible but if Simon still maintained the ability he would be flushed all the way down to his neck.  
  
"Go to your room. I'll be there in 10 minuets with options for you to try." Simon flees.  
  
Raphael drops down against the headboard his eye moving upward.  
  
"I'm a good Catholic. I don't deserve this."

  

The hotel is filled with bustling that night. It's Olivia's birthday and she has hit her first century. While some Vampires never get over the sting of birthdays others celebrate occasions such as this with the most extravagant parties. Raphael is sitting down completely at peace, feeling the happiness of the Clan that emits through his bond to them. His existence was made for nights like this when they are all safe and content. When no nightmares cloud their eyes. Lily is perched on the arm of the chair her legs crossed at her ankles. And while the only indication of Raphael's contentedness is the softness of his eyes, she physically preens at the happiness. Raphael watches as Phillip twirls Olivia in circles, bowing before her as he exaggerates his English accent on the word's _My lady_. Raphael chuckles. At that Lily looks down and meet's Raphael's eyes, her lips stretched with a sweet smile. Almost immediately he allows himself to relax even more. There is no one that Raphael would trust more with their family than Lily.  
  
Simon comes walking into the room, a jumble of limbs and head nods. His phone pressed to his ear, a pen in between his teeth, and Raphael's suit jacket thrown haphazardly over his shoulder.  
  
"Oh, sorry Clary, yeah I'm still here. . . Yes I was nodding and yes I remember that you can't actually see me doing that. But yeah okay next Tuesday at 9:00." He says a happy smile settling on his lip as he writes something down on his palm.  
  
That's when Raphael feels the familiar breaking of his skin as his soulmates writes into their own skin. Right on his left palm the same place where Simon is still scribbling. He takes in a sharp breath. Lily's nose wrinkles at the familiar smell of Raphael's blood and turns toward him.  
  
"That soulmate of your's finally making an appearance again?" The amusement in her voice stills as she sees the tenseness that has gripped Raphael.  
  
"Raphael?" He meets her eyes for a moment and she feels the sharp panic that he unconsciously lets out into their bond. A stillness breaks out through the room. Voices hushing immediately but by the time anyone looks over Raphael has disappeared.  
  
Lily follows him into his room immediately. He's standing at the foot of his bed, quiet rage flooding him. His sharp nails piercing the inside of his palm as the blood drips down his clenched knuckles, bright red staining the tile. His back is to her and she can see how his shoulders rise and fall and dread fills her. She thinks of all the battles they've faced together, the only time Raphael ever takes in a breath as human instinct overrides any form of logic. But here he is taking deep sucking breathes to calm himself.  
  
She whispers his name.  
  
"Leave me." He snaps.  
  
Lily rolls her eyes because that just won't do. She powers into the room until she's stepping in front of him and grabs his face in her hands her nails digging softly into his jaw.  
  
"Rafa," Her voice is gentle but stern and she'll wage siege against him if she damn well has to. "Rafa, if you won't tell me what's wrong as your Second, the one who should always be aware of any threat to the clan or yourself. Than please as your friend, as someone who has always stood by you . . ." Her sentence trails hanging in the air and Raphael, proud and strong Raphael still won't meet her eyes.  
  
His hand unclenches and he lifts it to her, palm up.  
  
_Tuesday @9 movies w clary_  
  
Lily blinks before beaming.  
  
"Raphael but, but this is wonderful, Simon is your soulmate." Raphael glares at her than.  
  
"Yes, perfect, a fledging that is in love with a shadowhunter, who" Lily cuts him off immediately.  
  
"But he's your soulmate!"  
  
"Soulmates doesn't immediately equate happiness Lily. There are people who hate their soulmates. There are evil people in this world who use the fact that they're soulmates with someone as leverage. There are people who ruin their soulmates." Lily flinches knowing he's talking about his own father.  
  
"Raphael that has nothing do with it, neither you or Simon are like that!" She digs her nails harder into his face and he hisses.  
  
"Good," she says baring her fangs at him in return. "Look at me. You are a good man Raphael Santiago, you have always been a good man." With that she turns and leaves the room.  
  
He hears Lily walk into the living room. Her steps which are typically silent clicking against the tile in her frustration. He hears her reassurance that there's just a little emergency with the Boston clan but that they have nothing to worry about. Raphael runs a hand through his hair his good mood long forgotten as everyone steps out for the evening.  
  
  
  
  
The sun is ten minuets from rising when his people begin to make their way in. He can feel the unsure steps of some, the stiffing giggles of others as they make their way to their rooms. There's a knock on the door and Raphael already knows whose outside it. Wonders when he memorized the sound of Simons steps, the unconscious breaths he takes, the very smell that clings to him, a sharp earthy smell. Raphael groans it couldn't have been more obvious now. Simon being Simon who has no semblance of respect for Raphael or his wishes, walks in.  
  
"I could have been sleeping." He says plainly, eyes glaring.  
  
Not even that deters Simon who has soon realized that annoying Raphael brings him the greatest pleasure. He just smiles at him fangs peeking out.  
  
"But you weren't ." Simon chirps.  
  
Before Raphael can even question what he's doing, Simon launches into a story of how Magnus strode into the wedding. His smile is taking up all his face and Raphael has to bite at his lip to stop himself from smiling back.  
  
Tomorrow Raphael decides. He'll tell him tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I really thought it was only going to be 2 chapters but this kind of ran away from me. 
> 
> Also I know everyone calls him Raph as a nickname, but in Spanish the nickname of the name Raphael would be Rafa and I just can't stop my urges of calling him that. 
> 
> I'm on tumblr @thelovelylights feel free to send me prompts


	3. Chapter 3

”I’ve contacted the rest of the clan," She paused before continuing. "I’m not authorizing the kill order on Simon.” Lily states.  
  
 In his room all eyes turn to her, members of the clan glaring. Lily stiffens and stands straighter before speaking.  
  
“Simon and Raphael are soulmates.” Dread fills the room and Raphael has to swallow down an anguished cry, now is not the time he reminds himself. Olivia standing next to the foot of the bed lets out a gasp as she clutches her shoulder where Phillip has drawn constellations for them for the past 63 years.  
  
"No. How could he do this to Rafa.” She whispers, blue eyes wide and doe like. There’s murmurs of agreement throughout the room.   
  
“I didn’t tell him.” He eventually bites out. Lily watches him warningly as if she’s expecting him to break as if it’s only a matter of time. Raphael wants to scream. “My order still stands Lily.”  
  
"No," It’s Stan who speaks then, the oldest of them all. "It will destroy you and with Camille’s impending return we can not risk it.”  
  
Raphael's scowl darkens as he nods, conceding to them. Though he may have absolute control he does not run his clan as a dictatorship.  
  
 “Lily set up a meeting with them, neutral territory Magnus will act as our liaison,” Lily looks over at Elliot before disappearing. “The rest, leave me.” As everyone flickers out of the room, Olivia stopping to drop a kiss on his cheek Elliot remains finishing bandaging him up. Raphael is thankful for the silence that ensues. Elliot is even more prickly than him despite this his stubbornness and loyalty have proven him one of Raphael’s most treasured friends.   
  
"I understand.“ He says as he meets Raphael’s eyes. He pushes a couple of dreadlocks back before giving one of them a tug, a nervous habit remaining from his time as a mundane. Raphael sighs, words once again failing him.  
  
Elliot was the soulmate of a vile woman, who had spat hateful words at him and written them all over his skin. Slapped him around and left angry red marks down his face and body for her amusement.  
  
 "For what it’s worth, Simon is a good person.” He stands. Smiling gingerly at Raphael, his tongue pressing against the back of his teeth before patting Raphael’s shoulder and turning to leave.    
  
  
  
Magnus earlier words from a month ago ring in his head. And he think's he's jinked himself by ever questioning Dot's loyalty to Shadowhunters. He wants to groan, unfortunately now is not the right time there’s more pressing matters at stake. He watches as the Shadowhunters and Simon enter his room. Alec is still looking haggard, his eyes swollen and bloodshot from the lack of sleep. Magnus presses forward and drops a kiss to his shoulder, which brings out a small linger smile. When they’re all sitting around he speaks.   
  
"You’ve made a grave mistake Clarissa with releasing Camille.“

 Clary’s eyes harden.

"It was the only way to save my mother.”  
  
  
"You are my friend Clary, but, I will make sure to warn my warlocks to be wary of creating alliances with you in the future,“ Clary gapes her mouth forming a protest but Magnus only lifts a finger silencing her. "I should have known Raphael would not authorize Camille's release." He feels his eyes turning into slits, can feel the frustration buzzing off him. "in the course of one night you broke the accords, released one of the most dangerous Downworlders from imprisonment, and have made an enemy of the Night Children.”   
  
He sees the guilt clinging to her and Magnus has to remind himself that though she is a child her actions have consequences. He see's the tightness of Isabelle’s back they way her jaw clenches in regret and the incredible anguish and sorrow clinging to Simon. Alec is staring wide eyed and Magnus realizes he didn’t know the exact details of what happened at the Dumort. He lets the weight of their actions press down on them.   
  
"You're lucky though that this particular clan leader owes me a favor." Magnus states.   
  
In that moment a portal opens and Raphael steps out flanked by Lily and Stan. He's dressed impeccably, wearing an all black suit with a deep red button up, and Magnus almost wants to smile because there's the boy with the face of angel. He and Stan both give a nod to Magnus their eyes never leaving their enemy. Lily who has always found herself above politics rolls her eyes, coming over and kissing his cheek before stepping back to Raphael’s side.   
  
“I’m sure Magnus has already informed you why you’re here. Unlike you all, the Vampires are not cowards and do not hide their intentions. The accords are now broken. We offer you no allegiance. But Magnus said I could perhaps come to an agreement with you.” His eyes glance towards Alec who immediately steps forward.   
  
“I didn’t authorize the mission they went on, name your deal Raphael.” Raphael analyzes him critically before turning to Stan who simply nods. “Magnus told me you would say that. First, blood with Camille on the loose I'm restricting my clan's mobility, I want at least 400 blood bags. You endangered my position as head of the Clan with the paper you gave Camille I want that handled as well.”  Raphael's voice boom across the room. At Alec's curt nod he turns his gaze to meet Simon's the boy shrinks in on himself.  
  
 Everything freezes. He stares at Simon unflinchingly. Simon doesn't move. The silence drags, it's choking them all. It's as if the air itself has stilled. Just Raphael's gaze on Simon, his eyes hollowed out as his mouth tightens. Simon hasn't blinked still staring wide-eyed at Raphael. Raphael breaks the silence.

“For years," He drawls. "I thought I was undeserving of you." Simon brown eyes fill with confusion, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, a question on his lip . Much in the same way Magnus had done earlier Raphael cuts off any rebuttal. "Now I realize perhaps it was you who didn’t deserve me.”  
  
He takes out an elegant pen from his jacket pocket and holds his palm face up and writes. Simon lets out a little yelp in surprise as the metallic smell of his blood fills the room. Clary’s whose next to him grabs his hand and looks. Her face turns the color of ash as she grips his wrist tight enough to leave the indent of the dips of her nails.   
  
_I’m disappointed._  It reads out in Raphael's swooping penmanship as he holds out his own palm.

Simon lets out a small whimper the tiniest of breaths escaping him. He jumps up ready to beg at Raphael’s feet but he’s already walking through the portal. Lily remains and grabs him and he almost wants to laugh hysterically of how this is a fucking parallel to Clary, how they both thought they were doing the right thing and it cost them. Fuck how it cost them everything. But Clary got Jocelyn back and Simon, well, Simon has never felt more alone in his life. He sobs and as Lily cups his head he almost pleads for her to twist it off in the hysteria of his despair. Instead she shushes him, telling him to calm himself as a mother would a small child. She eventually lets go of Simon and looks around the room her fangs barring as her eyes run over Clary.   
  
“You’ve cost Raphael too much. If you also cost him his life, I will drag you to hell alongside me.” She promises. Turning to Simon she grabs his palm, hand circling around his wrist her nails dragging softly against the skin as though it's meant to comfort. "You fucked up Baby, luckily Raphael is a forgiving man. You’ll figure out something. At 8 you’re allowed at the hotel each night to collect blood if need be. But that’s as far of a courtesy as he’s extending.” When she leaves it’s with a twirl of her dress and nothing more.

 From across the room Magnus steps out of the kitchen  
  
“And you’re his soulmate I should have gotten out the tequila if I knew this was turning into a novela.”   
  
  
  
The next three weeks are the most grueling of Simons undead existence. He asks every night to see Raphael but is always met with a sharp refusal. Olivia almost launched herself at him in anger in one of the nights saying he should walk through fucking holy ground before Rafa forgives him. Simons not sure what it would accomplish but it’s a thought. He sends flowers and a card with Poe Dameron from the new Star Wars movie because Raphael had been impressed by the Pilot. He buys Raphael a god damn star and is all about ready to think of how he can get Raphael to meet him in the pouring rain after watching one too many Nicholas Sparks movie when Lydia gives him the idea.

 "If you can’t talk to him why don’t you just write to him?“  
  
 "I did. Stan told me he burned the Poe Dameron card before even opening it.”   
  
Lydia purses her lips in a fond smile. Simon is once again grateful for her kindness in the last week she knows what it feels like to be lonely in a way none of the others do and how to keep living with that loneliness, she’s wonderful and strong. Simon only wants good things for Lydia for the rest of her life.   
  
 "Simon", She says her voice a bit teasing. “he’s your soulmate, write to him on your flesh.”  
  
Simon flounders because how in three weeks did that idea not occur to him.  
  
“Lydia you’re a genius!” He says and kisses both her cheeks with a loud smack a laugh somersaulting out of her mouth as she shakes her head in amusement.  
  


Lydia's advice is easier said than done. Simon is hesitant the entire night. He climbs the steps towards his room, one by one and is thankful that muscle memory hasn’t let him down yet. Mostly, he feels tired. He can’t think, only climbs the steps until he reaches his temporary room and sits. His hand shakes every time he picks up the pen and he can't bring himself to press it to his flesh until dawn is on the horizon. Simon has never been more happy to not be able to breathe. He know he can’t survive Raphael’s sadness; it’s destroying him. So he writes. It’s raw and he feels a bit like burning as words tumble down his arm. His hand cramps from writing but he feels hope, relief flooding his bones for the first time in days. The whole situation, God it’s . . .  it’s chaotic and messy but he wants to spend the rest of eternity giving Raphael everything, because Simon has taken so much. He writes. 

 _The first time I wrote to you it was September 11, 2001 and I was six year olds. My dad had to calm me down from a panic attack because of how worried I was over you. I was scared that you were dead or that you lost someone. I was so scared that you were alone and I wanted you to know that as long as you had me, as long as you wanted me you would never be alone._    
  
He continues on, his tight handwriting looking harsh against his flesh but it looks beautiful too. His skin burns, it’s as if it know’s what Simons attempting to accomplish. It wants to run away from him. Straight to Raphael who would put feather light hands over his bicep and his skin would calm as though finding home, and it had, how had Simon not realized. Of course, it would be Raphael, Raphael who made his skin thrive as though there was still a pulse beating through it. He sits back, legs folded and cradling his right hand. And waits until sleep claims him.

  
  
When Simon wakes the sun has begun to set and written on the side of one his fingers, caked with dried blood is a singular word bringing Simon more happiness than anything.  
  
_Come.  
_

Raphael is standing in the middle of the main entrance. He’s poised, back straight and Simon wonders when he learned to read him so well. When he could make out that his straight back was from tenseness rather than his typical cock sure attitude.  Simon opens his mouth as if to speak, nothing comes out, he closes it again. And breathes. Knows he doesn’t have to but as he looks at Raphael everything feels fragile and dazed. Moment’s pass, Simon has never been good with silence with inaction. Always moving, mind always racing but he feels calm now as though he’s on the edge of the world. Funnily enough he is, Raphael will one day be his world. Tentatively he steps forward, trying to ignore the way Raphael’s back clenches, until they’re in the same space. He waits. The other turns to him his face emotionless as he simply stares at Simon. Simon could probably cry right now, but he doesn’t want that for himself, for them. He ended his letter to Raphael with one simple desire and he knows it’s what the other is waiting to hear. He turns it into a question and pushes all his emotions behind it.  
  
“Can I come home?”  
  
 “Simon.” Raphael whispers.   
  
And Simon isn’t sure who moves first or if it was all at once but they’re clinging to one another. Raphael’s eyes burn and Simon lets out a choked breath as he swallows back a sob. Raphael slides his arm around Simon’s waist, wrapping around his back and clinging. And Simon doesn’t care that he has one inch of height over Raphael he finds a way to bury himself completely in the other and clutches, he’s not strong enough to be without Raphael right now. But as he feel’s the other sway underneath him he thinks maybe they both need each other, it feels like the only truth in this world.  
  
He hears Raphael take in a harsh breath through his nose and he grips him tighter wants Raphael to understand that he’ll never let go. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he hopes it says.   
  
Raphael is the first to step back, untangling himself but his hands linger at Simon’s waist and he doesn’t let go, not completely, not ever again Simon hopes.   
  
“Can I come home?” Simon repeats the words this time. 

Simon watches as the world clinks back to place with Raphael’s smile. He watches as everything begins to heal the broken bits in him and it all comes from that small smile. 

It’s easy from there. To fall into everything Raphael is, to press his forehead against him, it feels like a dream as though the universe is right there unfolding itself for them. Simon kisses Raphael like he’s the beginning to everything and perhaps he is, but this is the important part. The middle where they meet. Where Raphael always sure of himself doesn’t have words to describe Simon, and maybe he’ll spend the rest of eternity finding them for Simon. Where Simon who has written songs of love, who never stops talking is speechless and can only kiss them into Raphael's skin. “I will never hurt you,” he promises into his lips. “You’re everything I wanted,“ he sighs into Raphael’s hand. I’m your's,” he swears into the crook of his neck.  
  
 It all sounds like forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay my heart is so happy to have finished this! I'm quite happy with how it turned out and I hope you all enjoyed it as well, thank you for all the positive comments xx. 
> 
> P.S. I'm already working on a new AU with college Saphael so be on the lookout for that. 
> 
> P.P.S. Also feel free to follow me and send me prompts on tumblr @thelovelylights

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 will be coming up soon. if you liked it please leave a kudo or comment xx
> 
> I'm also on tumblr @thelovelylights if you want to send me promts. 
> 
>  
> 
> Spanish Text
> 
> La Virgen - In latino culture it's very common for us to refer to the Virgin Mary as simply La Virgen  
> Que Señora Rodriguez este en la gloria de Dios. - A very common expression for when someone passes away, would directly translate to May Ms. Rodriguez be in the glory of God.  
> San Miguel - Saint. Michael in English, the archangel of Battle.  
> Alma gemela - Soulmate  
> Raphael, mi primer niño, mi luz - Raphael, my first boy, my light.


End file.
